Thursday, August 24, 2006

Love In The Age Of Internets
Tumble's Pennysaver personal for Chestnut has delivered a less-than-expected amount of success to our P.O. Box. After sorting out junk mail, requests for mulch and letters from inmates, Tumble has been perusing the remaining photographic entries and involuntarily bunching his face.

I decided on a Plan B, one to match our modern age: internet dating. I helped Chestnut set up an online dating account last night and this morning posted his first dating video:

I even created a new email address, lovechestnut4ever@hotmail.com, and am in charge of sorting entrants into the "Yay" or "Nay" folder. Chestnut's spirits have brightened in the past week due in part to our diligence, and I'm elated to have such a project to undertake. Even Tumble is happier, having met a new pen pal, "Russell The Weight Room Snitch".
posted @ 03:17 PM est [link]

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Comeback Trail Once Warmed
Tumble put his dating plan for Chestnut into action this week, culling a favor from a friend at the Pennysaver. I helped with proofreading and chipped in on the Post Office box:

What with this and the bottle of cologne we bought him on a sojurn to the JC Penny outlet store, Chestnut is bound to be fending off his fair share of women. Romantic harmony will be restored in my lifetime. I will make it so.

-F
posted @ 10:59 PM est [link]

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

The Loneliness of a Middle Distance Manager
It's slowly becoming apparent that Chestnut is lonely:

Tumble came across a confirmation email for this Craigslist "missed connection" when borrowing Chestnut's laptop to Google-map a Hardee's. Tumble has decided not to ridicule Chestnut, an act of noble restraint I found to be highly suspicious until I spotted a post not twelve hours earlier that seemed eerily Tumblish:

The household hangs in the air of a crisis: Chestnut, his 20s hemmoraging from him, seems to be eyeing the fairer sex with renewed vigor. Given Chestnut's previous on-base percentage, I can't help but feel that his chances are the same as those of a dog that's spotted a squirrel on television. After an emergency pow-wow, Tumble and I have decided on a solid dating plan for Chestnut, to be presented over Grape Nuts tomorrow morn.

-F
posted @ 02:10 PM est [link]