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10/06/2006: "The Pockmarked Arm and Vice-Like Grip of Shame"

Some of you may be wondering how Chestnut's date went. Well, it went like this, with all the dignity of a C-level sitcom:

1) Carly and I (as Chestnut) decided to change the venue from dinner in Shadyside to dinner at her place.
2) I compiled all of our correspondences into a folder for Chestnut and readied myself to inform him of the good news: He was about to go on a date with the loveliest woman in Pittsburgh, thanks to the tireless efforts of yours truly.
3) One fit of loneliness and a mild spasm of envy later, I left said packet on my desk and hopped in a cab for Carly's place.
4) When I arrived home, and the early-morning fog broke to reveal Chestnut sitting on the porch, I realized the jig was incontrovertibly up, without even needing to see further evidence, which he provided anyway:



Chestnut and I had a long talk as the sun came up and in the end he said he understood my actions and forgave me, which I thought was big of him until I went in my room and realized he'd glued my laptop shut somewhere between discovery and forgiveness.