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08/09/2006: "The Loneliness of a Middle Distance Manager"

It's slowly becoming apparent that Chestnut is lonely:


Tumble came across a confirmation email for this Craigslist "missed connection" when borrowing Chestnut's laptop to Google-map a Hardee's. Tumble has decided not to ridicule Chestnut, an act of noble restraint I found to be highly suspicious until I spotted a post not twelve hours earlier that seemed eerily Tumblish:


The household hangs in the air of a crisis: Chestnut, his 20s hemmoraging from him, seems to be eyeing the fairer sex with renewed vigor. Given Chestnut's previous on-base percentage, I can't help but feel that his chances are the same as those of a dog that's spotted a squirrel on television. After an emergency pow-wow, Tumble and I have decided on a solid dating plan for Chestnut, to be presented over Grape Nuts tomorrow morn.

-F