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11/11/2004: "My Eventful Trip to the Beach"

I got up early this morning and took Tumble's car for a day of sorely needed relaxation at my favorite beach. It's a place few people know about, nice and secluded. I was so excited when I got there. No other car in sight, no boom boxes, no Burker King wrappers blowing along the dunes. I put my blanket down and within minutes the coaxing sound of the waves had me napping like a newborn.

I awoke to strong smell of rotten seafood and brine and realized my beach had been discovered.

What a majestic sight! Elephant seals as far as the eye could see. I walked a ways down the beach and found this fella napping,

and these guys playing.

Here is a picture I took when I got back to my beach towel:

The towel is hard to see, of course, since it's under 400 pounds of seal, along with my paperback Vonnegut and my car keys.

Here's what I got to listen to while I waited for my keys to free up:

It may look cute to you, but it was not from five feet away. If seals have curse words, I'm sure they used every single one between the both of them. The argument ended when the guy on the left fell asleep on my foot.

Long story short, I had to wait until about 6pm to get my things back when they all headed back to sea to eat, taking half of a soggy Player Piano with them. Chestnut explained to me the eating schedule of seals when I got home, although I couldn't make out exactly what he said since he kept holding his nose and dry heaving.

Tumble keeps smelling his keys and looking at me funny.